My grandpa texted for the first time in his life today and he spit straight wisdom out of the keyboard
Life Tip: Don’t allow Tumblr to become your primary/only source for morality. Remember, this is the site which had many people genuinely believe that they can get unlimited chocolate just by slicing it a certain way. I know I certainly wouldn’t want these people dictating my worldview for me.
I will always reblog this whenever it appears in my dashboard.
tripped and fell in my heelys jesus take the wheelys
as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
science side why this do that
water under grassy top make it go jiggle jiggle
thank u science side
I Love Simon Pegg!
dash is named dash because he runs really fast
violet is named violet because ultraviolet rays are invisible to the human eye
so what’s jack jack’s name got to do with his power
jack of all trades because he has so many powers
"Money can’t make you happy"
WELL IT SURE AS HELL AINT GONNA MAKE ME SAD
i just burned 1200 calories (i forgot the pizza in the oven)